An oldie but a goodie!

[zinnith]

I'm bored and in the mood for procrastination. Here, have a Stupid Customer of the Day from my time at the Dungeon of Doom.

Me: Welcome to (satellite company) how can I help you?

Customer: Hi, I'm just calling to let you know that your satellite must've moved. Can you fix that as soon as possible please?

Me: Um... what makes you think the satellite moved?

Customer: My picture's all grainy and I lost a few channels. Can you just bump it back into place or something?

Me: I'm afraid that won't be possible. You will need to adjust your satellite dish to get the signal back. I can give you instructions for how to do it yourself, or we can send a technician within 24 hours.

Customer: No, no, there's nothing wrong with my dish, it's been in the same place for seven months.

Me: (knowing that there's been bad weather in his part of the country) Sir, is it windy where you are right now?

Customer: Yes, it's a bit of a storm actually. Now, are you going to move the satellite back or do I have to take this higher up?

Me: Sir, the satellite is in space. It didn't move. If you wait until the storm is over and then adjust your dish, the picture will come back.

Customer: You've been very unhelpful. Get your manager to call me back, I want to place a complaint. *click*

Comments

[calime]

Whut does ray-beez do to you ennyway?
Heh. Reminds me of the client of mine ... Background info one needs to know: time and place - Estonia ca 5 years ago, when sylvan rabies was very much endemic here (oral vaccination of the wildlife during past few years has reduced it dramatically) and where the annual rabies vaccination is (still)compulsory. I worked in the UNI vet hospital at the time, and we had had a few confirmed, yet uncharacteristic rabies cases already that year (just a quiet death or one that came in as a rodenticide poisoning). A lady who lives in a remote farm in the forest brings in a young dachshund with the complaint of vomiting and a suspicion of a foreign body, upon examination the dog has nervous system symptoms. A worried vet (because there were students involved in handling the dog, and because we had had rabies cases already, resulting in vaccinations for the entire staff) queries re: rabies vaccination. Client answers snottily that none of the animals (several dogs, horses, cats etc) on the farm are vaccinated against rabies. A rather desperately puzzled and irritated and worried vet asks why in gods name not. Answer: "Who would I need to vaccinate them for? We have nobody around there except foxes!" *vet headdesks repeatedly*
To this day people who worked there tend to quote the answer as a code for a particularyl headdesk-y stupid client situation *g*.

[(Anonymous)]

*snort* I didn't notice your icon at first. :-)

You have to wonder about people sometimes. I had a client once who insisted that her dog could not have been bitten by a snake because she had invisible fencing. I had to explain that it wasn't a force field. And that it wouldn't have prevented her dog from getting bitten unless she'd put a collar on the snake as well. So that's *our* headdesk phrase: did you remember to put a collar on the snake? :-)

[sgamadison.livejournal.com]

ooops, wasn't logged in before...

[calime]

*laughs* But of course all the snakes respect the private property!
So far, ten years of vet practice have sadly given me an understanding that a lot of people consider thinking to be an unnecessary luxury, not to mention logic :) On the bright side, since I started watching SGA I've been happily imagining siccing Rodney McKay on the worst morons *grins*. It is ... therapeuthic.

[calime]

(oh, and an addendum to the 'only foxes' story - of course the dachshund was rabid. The family, with several children, had a happy time of emergency rabies vaccinations for everybody...)