SGA-fic: Ten Thousand Years of Solitude, pt 4 (PG-13)

[zinnith]

 Title: Ten Thousand Years of Solitude
Author: Zinnith
Rating/Category: PG-13/pre-slash
Pairings: John/Rodney
Spoilers: Takes place between Epiphany and Critical Mass
Word count: ~12 000
Disclaimer: All I own is junk. SGA is not junk. Ergo: I do not own SGA
Notes:
Originally meant for the sga_flashfic  challenge 'Man and Machine', but it grew and grew until it wasn't a flashfic anymore. Also fits my sg_15_fics  prompt 008: Alone.

The title is a reference to Gabriel Garcia Marquez' A Hunded Years of Solitude. It's a great novel. Read it.

Love and cookies for the_cephalopod  without whom this story would be significantly less good. She also writes great fic. Read it.
 
Summary: Rodney wished it could be just as easy to find out what was wrong with Sheppard. Just open him up and discover what makes him tick. Find the glitch and fix it. People were so complicated. No logic, no way to anticipate their reactions. It was so much easier with technology. Push a certain button and you knew you would get a certain response. With people, you never knew what to expect.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

He is finally with her now, the one who is of her kind. The other one has dragged his empty shell outside and they both watch him try to revive the body. They watch how the other one’s strength eventually runs out and he sinks to the ground in despair.

 

‘Don’t do this,’ the one who is of her kind pleads.

 

‘You belong here,’ she answers. Now that she has him, she will not let him go.

 

‘Neither of us belongs here,’ the one who is of her kind says. ‘I belong out there, with him. You belong with your people.’

 

‘All gone’ she says. That was what the other one told her. No one left but the one who is of her kind, the last remnant of her people.   

 

‘They’re still out there if you know where to look,’ the one who is of her kind says. ‘You just have to stop hiding.’

 

She shudders. ‘I do not know how,’ she says softly. She cannot remember a life outside her home.

 

‘I think you do,’ the one who is of her kind says. ‘I think you’re just too scared to let go. But take a look at him.’ The one who is her kind turns her attention to the other one, whose face is wet with tears. ‘If you keep me here, he’ll be left alone instead. Do you really want that for him when all of us could get a chance to be happy instead? Seems kind of stupid to me.’

 

The one who is of her kind is right. She would not wish this upon her worst enemy and the other one is not her enemy, he is too much of a kindred spirit. But it hurts so much! She cannot bear the thought of cutting her ties to her home. What if there is nothing out there? What if her people are really, truly gone?

 

‘So?’ the one who is of her kind asks. “What’s it gonna be? Stay here like a chicken or get out of here and live a little?’

 

The other one lies still on the ground, his head resting on the shell of the one who is of her kind. It is like she suspected. The bond between them is too strong to be broken without breaking them as well.    

 

‘What if there is no one else?’ she voices her fear.

 

The one who is of her kind smiles. ‘I know there is,’ he says. ‘It’s a long story, but I kind of met a bunch of people like you not so long ago. They made it over to the other side. They’ll be there waiting for you.’  

 

He is earnest and means her no harm, only wants the best for her. Should she not do the same for him? She searches within herself for the answer. Then she makes her decision. 

 

* * *

 

Rodney didn’t remember falling asleep, but a voice in his earpiece woke him up. “Colonel Sheppard, Dr McKay, this is Teyla, do you read?”   

 

A quick look around, and Rodney discovered that it was morning. Sunlight filtered through the heavy foliage and reflected off the door to the compound. It was sort of nice. It would have been nice, if he hadn’t been sitting hunched over his friend’s corpse.

 

Alone. Maybe not for ten thousand years, but these few hours had been long enough. Too long. 

 

Rodney sighed and tapped the radio. “Teyla, this is McKay. We’re… I’m outside the compound. Sheppard… Sheppard is …” his voice broke, he couldn’t seem to get the word past his lips. He looked down, as if the sight of Sheppard’s slack lifeless face would drive the fact home and make it real.

 

And met a pair of tired hazel eyes and the shadow of a smile. 

 

The world turned blurry for a moment, his throat burned, and all Rodney could get out was, “You… you didn’t…”

 

“Couldn’t,” Sheppard whispered. “Not worth it.” Then he closed his eyes again, still with that peculiar little smile on his face, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm.

 

Rodney laughed until he began to cry and then just sat with his head bent over Sheppard’s, listening to him breathing. That was how Teyla and Ronon and the rescue team found them.

 

* * *

 

The one who is of her kind sleeps. The other one keeps vigil, guarding him, keeping him safe. She knows it now. They belong together, with their own people, not here with her.

 

When their companions arrive, she follows them to the Stargate, watching their every step. She does not want them to come to any harm. It is hard to let them go, but easier now when she knows this will not last forever.

 

She waits until the ‘Gate has closed. The rest is not difficult at all. She gathers all her energy, lets it build, slowly, until it is too much to bear, and then she lets go…

 

Scatters…

 

Into the light…

 

* * *

 

“Rodney, for the last time, you’re going to be fine!” Carson was clearly beginning to lose patience with him, but Rodney wasn’t convinced. He couldn’t remember much about the trek back to the ‘Gate, and had only vague memories of gurneys and IVs once they got back to Atlantis.    

 

He had woken up to find himself in the infirmary with Sheppard asleep in the next bed and Carson talking about exhaustion and dehydration and second degree burns.

 

“It still hurts!” Rodney exclaimed. He had been given something stronger than the Tylenol, but could still feel that deep throbbing in his hand. 

 

“As I have told you a hundred times before,” Carson sighed. “The fact that it hurts is good. It’s when a burn doesn’t hurt that you should be worried, that means there’s nerve damage. Second degree burns generally heal well. You’ll be up and about in no time.”

 

Rodney was about to reply but, fortunately for Carson, Sheppard chose that moment to groan and open his eyes. Carson hurried over to his bed, and Rodney carefully slipped out from under his sheets so he could sit on the edge of his bed and watch Carson fuss over Sheppard.

 

Truth to be told, it really was more of an opportunity to watch Sheppard. Rodney had been convinced that the Colonel was gone. That Eiyana had only let him out because she got what she wanted - him. To see Sheppard sitting up in bed, looking around the infirmary while absentmindedly answering Carson’s questions, made Rodney feel… well, he wasn’t sure exactly what he felt. Relieved? It was more than that, he knew, and right now he didn’t have the energy to deal with it. Watching Sheppard’s tired face and his deflated hair knowing that he was alive was enough for now.

 

Teyla and Ronon came by a little later with lunch, which almost made Rodney forget his hand. They didn’t talk about what happened on the planet, just lingered on mundane everyday things for which Rodney was even more grateful.

 

Their next visitor, however, was Elizabeth, and it was clear that this conversation was going to be uncomfortable at best. She was carrying a laptop and stood by the end of their beds in a way that told Rodney that she was not here as a friend to inquire about their health, but as the expedition leader of Atlantis wanting to know what had went wrong with the mission.

 

“I’m glad to see you two recovering so well,” she began, and then seemed to decide to grab the bull by the horns. “When you came back, you were so adamant that no teams should be sent back, so instead we sent a UAV through.” She drew a deep breath. “I think you should see the footage yourself.”

 

She handed Rodney the laptop, and he limped over to Sheppard’s bed and sat down in the chair beside it so that they both could watch. 

 

At first the video showed jungle. Then the UAV reached the site of the research station, or rather, the site where the research station had been. On the footage, the only thing that remained was a deep crater in the scarred earth. It looked as if a massive explosion had taken place.

 

“I don’t believe it,” Rodney said, winding back the tape to watch it again, just to make sure his eyes weren’t just playing a trick on him. “She blew it up. She… she committed suicide.” He was momentarily horrified by the thought – was it possible that he as responsible? Could something he had said to her, or hadn’t said, prompted this action? He didn’t want to think about that.

 

Sheppard looked up at the ceiling with a sigh. “Maybe that was the only way she could let go,” he said. “That place… she couldn’t ascend fully because she loved it so much. Maybe she realized that destroying it was the only way to move on.”   

 

They sat in silence for a while, thinking about it. Elizabeth looked like she was waiting for an explanation, but Rodney had no idea how to explain to someone who hadn’t been there. Eventually, she seemed to realize that she wouldn’t get anything out of them for the moment. She left, wishing them both a quick recovery.

 

Rodney was not looking forward to the proper debriefing.

 

He looked over at Sheppard, wondering if their experiences on the planet warranted some deep philosophical discussion. He really didn’t feel up to it at the moment.

 

“So,” Sheppard said suddenly and flashed Rodney a tired version of his usual grin. “I’m yours, huh?”

 

Rodney felt his face go red and hot with embarrassment. Had Sheppard actually heard all that? He wished he could just sink through the floor. “I… I didn’t… I meant…” he sputtered. Then he saw Sheppard’s smirk, and realized the bastard was just jerking his chain. “You know what I meant,” he finished sourly.

 

“Yeah.” Sheppard’s mouth softened into a smile. “I know.”

 

- fin -

 

Comments

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

This is so good! I really enjoyed it. :-)

[zinfic.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it!

[stasha2g]

Oh, nice. Very interesting and sad. I felt so sorry for her.

PS. Your links between the parts are kind of borked.

[zinfic.livejournal.com]

Thank you!
Those links hate me... Fixing now.

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

Wonderful story. Loved that she was kind of stuck there.

[zinfic.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it!

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

Just perfect...

cep
xxx

[zinfic.livejournal.com]

Thank you, you're a star!

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

I'm fairly new to SGA fandom, but I hope all the fic I find is like this. I loved the pacing of it, Rodney's desperation and the sheer longing of Eiyana's voice. Lovely writing, much enjoyed, thanks.

[zinfic.livejournal.com]

Thank you and welcome to the fandom, I hope you'll like it here!

[dossier.livejournal.com]

fascinating story, enjoyed it thoroughly!

[zinfic.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it!