Free-for-all!

I just realised that it's been ages since I wrote something dirty. So - prompt me please? Any fandom, any pairing, any kink goes. You get porny ficlets and I get to flex my naughty muscles. Come on folks, I've got at least a week of sick leave left and the EP boys are driving me crazy with their inability to communicate like normal people. 

First five people to comment gets porn!

And now I will put on pants and go say happy birthday to my sister.