Here be selkies. Crack-flavoured selkies.
Mar. 28th, 2011 09:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zinnithSo, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bluespirit_star posted this very helpful illustrated guide, regarding the difference between seals and SEALs.
Crackbunny appeared. Blue andsgamadison made the mistake of encouraging me. It's all their fault! Please don't mistake this snippet for a story of any literary value whatsoever.
Danny has always been a rational man. He believes in what he can see, what he can touch and what can been scientifically proven. Among the many things he doesn't believe in are fairy tales and shapeshifting. Those are things best suited for Gracie's bedtime stories, and Danny likes it that way.
That's until Steve disappears.
The thing is, Danny always knew that Steve came back to Hawaii for one sole reason. If not for his father's murder, he would probably still be chasing war criminals in remote parts of the world. Coming back home, leading Five-0 - Steve did it with one specific goal in mind, and Danny was very much aware of that when the two of them started this relationship thing. He's not sure what he was hoping for exactly. Maybe that, given some time, Steve would find a reason to stay even after he finished the job he started? Maybe that Danny himself would be a part of that reason?
But the morning after Wo Fat gets sent to jail for the rest of his life, Danny wakes up alone. The bed is empty, the sheets on Steve's side already cool. That's not unusual, Steve has a thing for swimming early in the morning when he can't sleep. He's usually back by the time Danny's up though, and today the kitchen is empty, there's no coffee brewing, no damp towels in the bathroom. Steve is gone, like he disappeared into thin air.
"Give him a day or two, he'll be back," Chin says when Danny calls in a... well, he doesn't want to call it panic, but there's definitely a little bit of anxiety involved. But as long as Chin is calm, there's probably no cause for worry. Danny will definitely strangle Steve when he gets back though.
Only, Steve doesn't get back. He stays gone. After a week, Danny is panicking, actually short-of-breath, rambling-uncontrollably panicking. Chin and Kono must be fearing for his health because eventually Chin sits him down and says, "Listen, brah. There's something you should know about Steve."
Ten minutes and an awkward explanation later, Danny hates his life and he hates Hawaii and he hates Steve McGarrett. Scratch the strangling thing - when Steve comes back, Danny will destroy him. But first, he has a ton of research to do.
The next evening, Danny’s standing on the beach behind Steve’s empty house with half an onion in his pocket. He's pretty sure this won't work, but he's had about three hours of sleep in the past two days and he figures it's worth a shot; it's not like anyone will ever find out if it turns out he's just making an ass out of himself.
Danny wades out into the water and then, feeling incredibly stupid, takes out the onion. “Okay,” he mutters to himself. “Here goes nothing.” He drags the surface of the cut over his hands, takes a deep breath, and then rubs his fingers over his eyes.
Damn, it stings. At least, it serves its purpose. It's not long until the tears are streaming down Danny's face. He leans forward and lets them drip into the water, and then he waits.
And waits. And waits. And waits a little more. Eventually, he feels forced to accept that the stupid story wasn't true after all. He takes the stupid onion and throws it into the stupid sea where it lands with a stupid splash, bobbing up and down in the waves. Then he turns around, ready to walk back to shore and spend the rest of his life alone and miserable.
Steve's standing on the beach. He's stark naked, skin glistening with water and he's standing protectively over a small heap of something grey and shimmering in the sand.
Danny stops and stares for a second. It's one thing to read the stories, and a completely different thing to see them come true. Then he picks his chin up and wades back to the beach, shouting even before he's out of the water.
“You, I don't even, how are you real? I have read so many stupid stories that my eyes are crossing. How many of them are true? Obviously the whole ‘cry seven tears into the sea’ thing worked, or you wouldn’t be here, but...”
“Actually, calling my name would’ve worked just fine,” Steve says, with an amused little smirk playing around the corners of his mouth.
Danny drags his palm over his face, and then belatedly remembers that his fingers are still covered in onion. It takes a second for the sting to start up again, and then he’s watching Steve through a new haze of tears. “You mean I just rubbed onion juice all over my face for nothing? That’s fantastic, thank you so much.”
“It's not like I twisted your arm or anything.”
For once in his life, Danny can't find any words. Steve just stands there, arms crossed over his chest, like he didn't suddenly disappear off the face of the earth for a week. He does have the good grace to look a little sorry though.
“So if I steal your pelt, you won’t be forced to marry me?” Danny asks.
Steve gives him the blank face. “If you steal my pelt, I will be pissed,” he says. “You want to marry me, you can just ask.”
“Okay, that’s good to know, because those stories? Never ended well, that’s all I’m saying, it was all heartbreak and tragedy. Not to mention how coercing someone into marrying you is beyond wrong, supernatural creature or not.” Danny manages to stop his mouth from running away from him as he backtracks the conversation. "Wait, what... what did you say?"
"Don't steal my pelt," Steve repeats, stepping a little closer to the grey shimmering thing on the ground. A seal skin, Danny realises. He shakes his head, trying to clear it from the cobwebs of massive sleep deprivation.
"No, no, not that, what made you think I was going to do that? I know you have issues, but you can trust me, okay? How hard is that to understand? I meant the marrying thing, was that, did you mean that?"
Steve's blank face gives way to the hopeful-puppy-begging-for-a-treat face. "Maybe?" he says. The sun is setting and Steve is back and beautiful and very naked and it's all beginning to feel like a very strange dream.
Danny makes a motion to rub his face again and then actually remembers the onion this time so he lets his hands fall to his sides. "I need to get some sleep," he says. "And then, my friend, then we will talk, and you will explain exactly why you thought it was a good idea to keep this from me, but first, I need to sleep because I'm about ten minutes from falling over here, all right?"
Steve nods slowly, stepping a little closer, like he's concerned that Danny really will fall over. "That sounds like a good idea. And I think you should wash your face. Red and puffy is not an attractive look on you.”
“I think I should kick you back into the sea, how about that? And for the record, next time, maybe at least leave a note? 'Going for a swim, back on Friday', something like that? Seriously, I don't know what to do with you. Am I going to wake up tomorrow morning and find you gone again? Should I tell you exactly what that did to my blood pressure the last time?”
Steve bends over and picks up his pelt, folds it carefully and then hands it to Danny. "Why don't you hold onto that for me? For safekeeping."
It's soft and stiff and strangely warm against his fingers, like the heat from Steve's body is still lingering in his skin. Danny takes it, tucks it under his arm, and takes Steve's hand, recognising the gesture for what it is.
Tomorrow when he wakes up, Steve will be there.
- fin -
bluespirit_star posted this very helpful illustrated guide, regarding the difference between seals and SEALs.Crackbunny appeared. Blue and
sgamadison made the mistake of encouraging me. It's all their fault! Please don't mistake this snippet for a story of any literary value whatsoever.Danny has always been a rational man. He believes in what he can see, what he can touch and what can been scientifically proven. Among the many things he doesn't believe in are fairy tales and shapeshifting. Those are things best suited for Gracie's bedtime stories, and Danny likes it that way.
That's until Steve disappears.
The thing is, Danny always knew that Steve came back to Hawaii for one sole reason. If not for his father's murder, he would probably still be chasing war criminals in remote parts of the world. Coming back home, leading Five-0 - Steve did it with one specific goal in mind, and Danny was very much aware of that when the two of them started this relationship thing. He's not sure what he was hoping for exactly. Maybe that, given some time, Steve would find a reason to stay even after he finished the job he started? Maybe that Danny himself would be a part of that reason?
But the morning after Wo Fat gets sent to jail for the rest of his life, Danny wakes up alone. The bed is empty, the sheets on Steve's side already cool. That's not unusual, Steve has a thing for swimming early in the morning when he can't sleep. He's usually back by the time Danny's up though, and today the kitchen is empty, there's no coffee brewing, no damp towels in the bathroom. Steve is gone, like he disappeared into thin air.
"Give him a day or two, he'll be back," Chin says when Danny calls in a... well, he doesn't want to call it panic, but there's definitely a little bit of anxiety involved. But as long as Chin is calm, there's probably no cause for worry. Danny will definitely strangle Steve when he gets back though.
Only, Steve doesn't get back. He stays gone. After a week, Danny is panicking, actually short-of-breath, rambling-uncontrollably panicking. Chin and Kono must be fearing for his health because eventually Chin sits him down and says, "Listen, brah. There's something you should know about Steve."
Ten minutes and an awkward explanation later, Danny hates his life and he hates Hawaii and he hates Steve McGarrett. Scratch the strangling thing - when Steve comes back, Danny will destroy him. But first, he has a ton of research to do.
The next evening, Danny’s standing on the beach behind Steve’s empty house with half an onion in his pocket. He's pretty sure this won't work, but he's had about three hours of sleep in the past two days and he figures it's worth a shot; it's not like anyone will ever find out if it turns out he's just making an ass out of himself.
Danny wades out into the water and then, feeling incredibly stupid, takes out the onion. “Okay,” he mutters to himself. “Here goes nothing.” He drags the surface of the cut over his hands, takes a deep breath, and then rubs his fingers over his eyes.
Damn, it stings. At least, it serves its purpose. It's not long until the tears are streaming down Danny's face. He leans forward and lets them drip into the water, and then he waits.
And waits. And waits. And waits a little more. Eventually, he feels forced to accept that the stupid story wasn't true after all. He takes the stupid onion and throws it into the stupid sea where it lands with a stupid splash, bobbing up and down in the waves. Then he turns around, ready to walk back to shore and spend the rest of his life alone and miserable.
Steve's standing on the beach. He's stark naked, skin glistening with water and he's standing protectively over a small heap of something grey and shimmering in the sand.
Danny stops and stares for a second. It's one thing to read the stories, and a completely different thing to see them come true. Then he picks his chin up and wades back to the beach, shouting even before he's out of the water.
“You, I don't even, how are you real? I have read so many stupid stories that my eyes are crossing. How many of them are true? Obviously the whole ‘cry seven tears into the sea’ thing worked, or you wouldn’t be here, but...”
“Actually, calling my name would’ve worked just fine,” Steve says, with an amused little smirk playing around the corners of his mouth.
Danny drags his palm over his face, and then belatedly remembers that his fingers are still covered in onion. It takes a second for the sting to start up again, and then he’s watching Steve through a new haze of tears. “You mean I just rubbed onion juice all over my face for nothing? That’s fantastic, thank you so much.”
“It's not like I twisted your arm or anything.”
For once in his life, Danny can't find any words. Steve just stands there, arms crossed over his chest, like he didn't suddenly disappear off the face of the earth for a week. He does have the good grace to look a little sorry though.
“So if I steal your pelt, you won’t be forced to marry me?” Danny asks.
Steve gives him the blank face. “If you steal my pelt, I will be pissed,” he says. “You want to marry me, you can just ask.”
“Okay, that’s good to know, because those stories? Never ended well, that’s all I’m saying, it was all heartbreak and tragedy. Not to mention how coercing someone into marrying you is beyond wrong, supernatural creature or not.” Danny manages to stop his mouth from running away from him as he backtracks the conversation. "Wait, what... what did you say?"
"Don't steal my pelt," Steve repeats, stepping a little closer to the grey shimmering thing on the ground. A seal skin, Danny realises. He shakes his head, trying to clear it from the cobwebs of massive sleep deprivation.
"No, no, not that, what made you think I was going to do that? I know you have issues, but you can trust me, okay? How hard is that to understand? I meant the marrying thing, was that, did you mean that?"
Steve's blank face gives way to the hopeful-puppy-begging-for-a-treat face. "Maybe?" he says. The sun is setting and Steve is back and beautiful and very naked and it's all beginning to feel like a very strange dream.
Danny makes a motion to rub his face again and then actually remembers the onion this time so he lets his hands fall to his sides. "I need to get some sleep," he says. "And then, my friend, then we will talk, and you will explain exactly why you thought it was a good idea to keep this from me, but first, I need to sleep because I'm about ten minutes from falling over here, all right?"
Steve nods slowly, stepping a little closer, like he's concerned that Danny really will fall over. "That sounds like a good idea. And I think you should wash your face. Red and puffy is not an attractive look on you.”
“I think I should kick you back into the sea, how about that? And for the record, next time, maybe at least leave a note? 'Going for a swim, back on Friday', something like that? Seriously, I don't know what to do with you. Am I going to wake up tomorrow morning and find you gone again? Should I tell you exactly what that did to my blood pressure the last time?”
Steve bends over and picks up his pelt, folds it carefully and then hands it to Danny. "Why don't you hold onto that for me? For safekeeping."
It's soft and stiff and strangely warm against his fingers, like the heat from Steve's body is still lingering in his skin. Danny takes it, tucks it under his arm, and takes Steve's hand, recognising the gesture for what it is.
Tomorrow when he wakes up, Steve will be there.
- fin -
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-28 08:28 am (UTC)OMG! You wrote it. And it's awesome. And sweet. And funny. And awesome! (You get that it's totally awesome, right? *g*) And actually not crack-y at all. It reads so perfectly that I'm now going to be looking for a soft gleam of fur tucked away carefully on a shelf or something when the next ep airs!
“If you steal my pelt, I will be pissed,” he says. “You want to marry me, you can just ask.”
\o/
Mmmm, as awesome as awesomecakes with awesome sprinkles.
*happy sigh*
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-28 09:32 am (UTC)I now know more about selkies than I ever wanted to learn. I also kind of wanted to add a scene where Danny geot thrown overboard in the middle of the ocean by some bad guys and seal!Steve saved him. Maybe another time ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-28 09:47 am (UTC)This should definitely become a 'verse for you to dip into & write more.
*nods in a completely unselfish-more-fic-please manner*
;)
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-28 10:11 am (UTC)As always, I love your writing. This was warm and fun and sweet:)
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-28 10:22 am (UTC)Except how you made it kind of adorable, actually ♥
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-28 11:26 am (UTC)First time I've ever heard of that myth. *off to do research*
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-28 11:27 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-28 11:34 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-28 12:16 pm (UTC)Thank you! *g*
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-28 12:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-28 12:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-28 03:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-29 05:55 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-29 07:34 pm (UTC)I've always loved the selkie myths, and at last I've stumbled into a fandom where they make sense. There needs to be more!
(And not cracky at all, no.)
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-29 09:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-30 05:57 am (UTC)(It is a little cracky, but I mostly translate 'crack' into 'did the research and then merrily ignored it' *g*)
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-30 05:57 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-04-17 05:25 am (UTC)*sniffle* Wow, good work.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-06-15 02:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-06-15 08:43 pm (UTC)