Stupid questions of the day.

[zinnith]

As you might know, I work as a telephone muppet. Enjoy a few highlights from my day at work!


Me: Hello, welcome to (recruitment company) how may I help you?
Customer: So...I was looking at this job ad on your homepage.
Me: Yes?
Customer: Well... It's written in English. Does that mean I have to know English to apply for the job?
Me: That would be the logical conclusion, yes....


Me: Hello, welcome to (fancy ski resort).
Customer: Hi! I just have a question, it says on your homepage that you're officially closed next weekend. What does that mean?
Me: If it says we're closed then it means that we're closed.
Customer: Oh. Okay. Just checking.


If it's one thing I've learned from this job, it's that people are STUPID.

Comments

[rellan.livejournal.com]

You should've answered the first customer. 'No. You are required to be fluent in Russian (or any other language) both in speech and written form. That's why the ad is written in English. So you know which language not to use.'

And you don't headdesk all day? Or shoot anyone? *zinfic goes up a few notches on the admiration-o-meter*

[zinfic.livejournal.com]

Actually, the stupid customers are pretty fun to talk to. At least I can mock them in my head. The real pests are the telemarketers...

Me: Welcome to (company) how may I help you?
Telemarketer: I would like to speak to the one responsible for your telephone/internet/cleaning service/whatever provider please.
Me: (getting suspicious) Ok...that would be xxx, he prefers to deal with this over e-mail, so you can send a mail to...
Telemarketer: (interrupting) I don't have e-mail, I need to speak to him.
Me: All right, then he's not interested.
Telemarketer: So there's no way I can speak to him?
Me: No, he's not interested. If you want to contact him you'll have to send him an e-mail.
Telemarketer: Alright, I'll do that. (apparently, he suddenly has teh internet). Are you sure he's not available?
Me: Yes, I am sure. Send an e-mail, otherwise he's not interested.
Telemarketer: Ok. Can I call back later?
Me: NO! I'm going to hang up now, bye. (hangs up and bangs head on keyboard, knowing that the same telemarketer will call back the next day asking the same question and getting the same answer...)

[rellan.livejournal.com]

I work retail so I can empathize/sympathize. There are only so many ways you can say 'no, that item does not exist/we can not get for you.'

[sgamadison.livejournal.com]

These cracked me up. I was reminded of some of the crazy things clients say to me sometimes.

Client: If my dawg has mice, why can't I see 'em?

Me: Not m-i-c-e. M-i-t-es. Mites. Your dog has ear mites.

Client: My dog *can't* have been bitten by a snake--we have invisible fencing!!

Me: Did you remember to put a collar on the snake? Because it's not a force field, you know.

[zinfic.livejournal.com]

You have to love working in service :) Just imagine how boring life would be without all the loons and their stupid questions!