Notes: It seems like the thing to do after writing over 52K in 12 days is to write even more. Seriously, I take absolutely no responibility for this thing. It's all Baty's fault.
(Yes, this is crack, obviously.)
Summary: Rodney comes home, drops his briefcase to the floor, falls back against the door, and starts to hyperventilate, chanting, “What have I done, what have I done,” under his breath. Rodney signs up for NaNoWriMo. Hilarity ensues.
( Shroedinger's Cat Had It Easy )
Crackbunny appeared. Blue and sgamadison made the mistake of encouraging me. It's all their fault! Please don't mistake this snippet for a story of any literary value whatsoever.
( The Detective and the Sea (a.k.a. The Selkie Story) )
( Danny has an unusual problem, Kono squees, Chin suffers and Steve secretly has a heart made of marshmallow. )
Title: Marking Territory
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy with background Spock/Uhura and everyone/chair
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: For st_xi_kink, the prompt But how 'bout everyone's had sex in the chair... except for Kirk, and he's pouty. First in my mind's Spock/Uhura, but I was thinking the rest of the crew, too. Bonus if someone makes Jim's dream finally, FINALLY come true. I could not resist. Unbeta'd
Summary: "If anyone should get to have sex in the command chair, it should be me."
( Marking Territory )
Warning: Can you say 'crack'?
Disclaimer: Sadly not mine.
Summary: Rodney is a sex toy inventor. John is a test pilot. John becomes Rodney's test pilot.
Notes: For lavvyan, who prompted me with John/Rodney, vibrators! Note the plural! *g* Not nearly as much porn as you'd expect from a story almost entirely about adult toys, but I hope you'll like it anyway. Enjoy! the_cephalopod is my beta hero!
( Purely Scientific Reasons, Of Course )
Apparently, it's National Poetry Month. It think that is cause enough for some more emo!John poetry.
by John Sheppard, age 39 1/2
I live for one look
from your 'gate-blue eyes
one word from your lips
(even when you're all bitchy and shit)
Will you ever know
what you mean to me?
How can I make you see?
(Fuck this. I think I'll go
And now I want to know what kind of poetry the rest of them would write. I can has bad!commentpoetry plz?
Look what they made me write! And here is the post that spawned it all.
( SGA RPF chair!crack )
Characters: Team + Elizabeth. GEN, I swear!
Warnings: Zinnith's weird sense of humour.
Word count: ~ 1900
Disclaimer: Me is poor person, not own.
Spoilers: Season 1
Notes: For reynard_muldrak, who bought me for fics4books and wanted:
Elizabeth/John and possibly Rodney in the background (not ness het/slash)
Based on either Shepp's or Rodney's POV
Psychic People (especially main characters)
Based on Atlantis/Offworld
I hope this will be to your liking!
Huge thanks to the_cephalopod for the super-fast beta!ETA: Don't miss the brilliant companion story written by anyanka_eg : The Big Alien Conspiracy
Summary: When General O’Neill said he thought that people who didn’t want to go through the gate were whacked, John had just nodded and smiled. However, after some time in the Pegasus galaxy, John has come to the conclusion that being crazy is a necessary prerequisite for wanting to go through the damn thing.
John and his team and all the things aliens make them do.
Title: The Very Dirty and Vaguely Disturbing Story of Why We Haven't Seen the Fleece in Pegasus
Author: Zinnith's pervy alter ego
Pairings: John/Rodney, John/Fleece
Warnings: Crack. Kinky crack. Or cracky kink. Of the...um... fetish-y kind... Also a tiny bit of angst. Where did that come from?
Disclaimer: Still not mine.
Notes: I am deeply ashamed of myself. mcfleece made me do it!
Summary: John really likes Rodney’s fleece.
Rating: PG-13 for nakedness
Warnings: crack, crack and yet more crack
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate:Atlantis. I do own SGA-13. Feel free to play with them, as long as you put them back in the condition you found them in. The inhabitants of New Guinea own themselves.
Notes: First, I read anyanka_eg's entry about Joe F:s penis size and thought I'd write something about it. Then I wondered how long a penis can be. Then I came across an article about tribal traditions on New Guinea and the story officially veered off into crack-dom. So, not really what I planned to write but... well, you'll just have to read it and find out what happened.
As always, love and cookies for the divine the_cephalopod for the beta!
Summary: John wondered if there was a standard operating procedure for when one of your officers had been whacked in the face with what was technically an enormous strap-on. If there was one, he'd never heard of it.